Like Oil And Water
by cakechromosome
Summary: Toni knew Steve would never understand how she felt, so why bother explaining? They just had to accept the fact they both saw different things when they looked at the world and move on. Now she just had to convince Rogers. Female Tony! Toni/Steve
1. Chapter 1

"Toni." Pepper knocked through the glass doors of my lab. "Open up."

"Not now. I'm kinda busy." I called back as I continued tinkering with one of the weapons Fury had me working on.

"You've been busy for days. You need to come out."

That was true. It had been days. Four at least.

"Why?"

"Why?" She repeated incredulously. "Because you need to eat. You need to sleep. You need to shower. For goodness sake Toni you need a break."

"No what I need is for you, and everyone else, to leave me alone. I'm fine."

She could feel Peppers exasperation through the door but she chose to ignore it, as she continued pulling apart the electronics from the device.

"Why'd you let him get to you?" Her voice spoke softly through the door and I was glad I decided to darken out the lab windows or she would have seen me flinch.

"Who?" I asked even though we both knew who.

"Steve was being unreasonable. He was in a bad mood and said things that he shouldn't have."

"I know that. I heard him the first, second and seventh time he came to apologise."

It didn't change anything.

I'd work myself to the bone if I had to. No one would dare to even think I wasn't pulling my weight.

"The only person you're hurting by doing this Toni is yourself."

"Good, then I'll wallow in my self-destruction alone."

"What do we-"

"Thank you." I cut her off using equal parts of my 'this conversation is finished' and my 'you are dismissed' voice. I could just about see her hands ball in frustration but she said nothing. I heard her footsteps disappear and I was glad I was back to alone.

Mostly glad.

A little glad.

Not really glad at all.

That was the thing wasn't it? I hated being alone.

But I hated the public more and finding the balance was something I'd always struggled with.

Don't get me wrong. I loved people. I loved noise. I loved movement.

What I hated was opinions. And the public, was nothing if not one giant opinion just waiting to smother me in its overbearing sense of self-righteousness.

The situation sucked because I couldn't get the first without the latter and to be honest, I really needed the first.

It was a nice distraction from the constant buzzing of thoughts I couldn't shut off in my head.

Thoughts reminding me that I would never be good enough. I wasn't good enough for my father, I wasn't good enough for my teachers, I wasn't good enough for this country and apparently I'm not good enough for the fucking Avengers.

Considering we were all a bunch of mismatched failed experiments with anger issues, questionable morals and no sense of responsibility, I couldn't understand why I still needed to prove myself.

If Rogers and the rest of them were going to look down on me like everybody else, I was going to treat them like everybody else. My mask was going right back on, where it should have been from the start. I would smile, wave, damn well courtesy if I had to, but when it was all said and done, and when we were away from the prying eyes of the public, I'd haul up here with JARVIS -the only bloody thing I could trust- and it would be Avengers. Fucking. Who.

* * *

3 months earlier.

"I don't understand why the two of you can't get along." Pepper shook her head as she helped me put the finishing touches on my outfit.

"We've been over this." I rolled my eyes. "He's a stiff, insufferable, self-righteous pig. I don't understand how the two of you do get along."

"But he's not." Pepper argued. "You're only trying to find the worst in him."

"The worst in him is all there _is_ to him. Stop trying to see things that aren't there Pepper."

I could feel her roll her eyes behind me, but being the gracious person I am, I chose to ignore it.

"Sit down." Pepper ordered and I took a seat on a stool placed in front of my mirror.

My hair was in rollers and Pepper starting yanking out the pins so she could remove them from my hair. I watched as my long hair fell down in dark waves.

"Remind me again how I ended up partners with Rogers?" I asked as she began combing my hair into place, her fingers working delicately yet efficiently.

Pepper really was a woman of all trades. Thank god too or I would look a nightmare when I left the house. I had no fashion sense to speak of, and knew nothing when it came to hair and make-up. Give me a car and spanner and I could work miracles, put a straightener in my hand and the miracle would be if I managed to not burn the house down. An analogy which, I'm not proud to admit is based more from past events then exaggeration.

"Because Steve never brings a date, and Fury doesn't like that."

"Yes, but why am _I_ the one that has to go with him?"

"Because Fury said if he had to so much as _look_ at another one of your male bimbos he was going to shoot someone, and I think we all know who his gun would be pointed at."

Apparently Rogers always showing up with no date was the only thing Fury found less annoying then my taste in men. I happened to think I had great taste in men. All good looking and all with such bad personalities I wouldn't feel bad dumping them at a drop of the hat. Which was something I did.

Often.

"If you're implying he means to shoot me, I'll stop you right there." I told her, "Everyone knows I'm Fury's favourite."

"If you're repeating what he said to you the other day, I definitely recall a 'least' being said before the word' favourite.'"

"You obviously have a faulty memory of what was said." I sniffed.

"And you're obviously delusional."

"Remember whose name is on your pay check." I threatened.

Pepper gave a hard yank at my hair and I tried to not wince. Then she continued combing it like she hadn't just viciously (and totally unprovoked, might I add) tried to scalp me.

"You did that on purpose." I glared at her refection in the mirror.

She just shrugged and smiled.

* * *

By the time Rogers had arrived, Pepper had already worked her magic and I was looking fabulous.

I was in a beautiful red dress that fit tight around the torso to accentuate my figure, before flowing effortless to the floor . It was modest at the front but low-cut at the back dipping to just above my tailbone.

That perfect mix between conservative and scandalous.

Steve was waiting on the couch as I entered the room; his back was to me so I cleared my throat to let him know I was there.

At the sound he stood up turning to face me and god why did he always look so good in a suit?

If I hadn't made it my life mission to forever hate the man, it would be fine. I wouldn't mind admiring his nicely fitted dress pants to his tailored white shirt that was tight enough I could see the outline of well-defined muscles underneath. I wouldn't mind admiring his broad shoulders and corded neck and his strong jaw, his full lips, his gorgeous blue eyes.

God I wouldn't mind any of that.

However I had, so getting all hot and bothered over him was not going to happen.

Instead I slid into my well learned 'cool and collected' persona.

Steve seemed to shuffle uncomfortably on his feet before he managed to force out a, "You look lovely."

A compliment I was happy to accept. I lived and breathed compliments. Not going to dwell on the fact it sounded like it was tortured out of him.

Instead I just raised my eyebrow before smirking, "I know."

"Shall we?" He gestured to the door choosing to ignore my arrogant attitude, something he did a lot. Whether it was annoying or amusing that he couldn't handle my upfront and blunt attitude, I wasn't sure.

I picked up my purse and made my way to the door and like always, Rogers held it open for me. I had to bite my lip so I wouldn't scream.

It wasn't fair.

No one should have a gentleman's personality and look like him.

If there was any justice in this world, he would be a six foot something walking mass of acne.

Instead look at him.

Oh well.

I choose to think of it as a test of my outstanding will power.

That even with how shallow I am -and lord knows I am a very _very_ shallow person- I still manage to resist the draw of Rogers.


	2. Chapter 2

It was later on that evening and I was a little drunk..or maybe a lot of drunk.

Because the room was spinning and I was pretty sure Banner had started the night with one head, the fact he now had three was unsettling.

I was slowly making my way over to a wall, I needed something to hold me steady since gravity seemed to be all over the place. One minute it was fine, the next it was pulling too hard on the right.

I felt something wet soak my dress and I looked down at my now empty champagne flute. Great. How long had I been holding that drink? And gross. I didn't even like champagne.

I continued on my way, and I was doing quite well I think, yes I nearly crashed into the champagne table when I wanted to replace my drink with another one -don't ask me why I was replacing a drink I didn't even like- but thankfully no one was paying attention so it didn't count.

And since when did this wall I was aiming for suddenly change places? I'm sure it was closer then that. I squinted my eyes trying to figure out this conundrum when I felt an arm wrap itself around my waist.

"Easy there." Rogers voice was in my ear.

"I'm fine." I answered trying to shrug him off. Or atleast I think I answered, maybe I just thought it. Who really knew?

"You're not fine. You're drunk." Okay yes I had definitely answered.

"I'm a little drunk." I managed to get out.

"Really? Because you were about to face plant into the ground before I caught you." He replied. His arm was still around my waist and he was leading us over to one of the seated tables.

"It's not my fault this planet hates me." I explained about the injusticeness of my life. "If the world would stop tilting for like one second I'd be fine."

"The planets fine, you're the one thats tilting." Rogers voice sounded exasperated and if I was sober, I would have take offence.

However I was not, therefore I chose to instead respond with. "Oh."

"Here, sit down before you hurt yourself." He pulled a chair slightly out and placed me in it.

"It takes a lot more then falling over to hurt me I'll have you know." I pointed my finger accusingly at his face. "I even have the scars to prove it."

It was true, I couldn't even count them all. Not all of them were from fighting robots or aliens or bad villians mind you, sadly a vast majority were just bad estimations and calculations on my part. Inventing things wasn't an easy job, especially when you were inpatient and just wanted to get to the final results.

Rogers eyes flashed at my response but I didn't see it. My head was in my arms and they were resting on the table now. He was especially lucky in that instance because sober or not, I would have taken offence at that one. I was sick of him thinking that girls always had to look perfect which meant they didn't belong in my line of work.

"You wait there, I'll call a cab to take you home."

Maybe I fell asleep or maybe Rogers was just super fast about it because the next second he was back and shaking my arm.

"Hey Toni come on." His arms came around my waist again and he lifted me up. I wrapped mine around his shoulders because with the fast movement and the sudden glaring lights, I was back to being disorientated.

"You don't need to do this Steve." I spoke into his neck where I'd apparently decided to rest my face. "I'm perfectly capable of getting myself home. I'm a big girl, I've done it before."

"You're plastered." He spoke as we got into the elevator. "The only time I'll let you out of my sights tonight is when you're safe in bed."

His arms never left me in the lift, nor when he was dragging me over to the cab, it was probably a good thing too cause I really couldn't feel my legs at the moment.

"I can take it from here." I told him when he made to enter the cab with me.

"No you can't." He responded before moving me over and sitting next to me like he owned the damned place. I rolled my eyes but other then that, let him have his way.

* * *

God my head was pounding.

What happened last night? I groaned shoving my head into my pillow.

"Jarvis get rid of the light would you." I whined burying my head further, and covering my head with my arms, like that would somehow add a dimension of darkness to the room that wouldn't be achieved otherwise. Luckily Jarvis spoke fluent Stark Muffle because he did as requested.

I felt something tighten around my waist and that was when I stiffened. Because whatever it was I had my head resting on, I only just realised, it wasn't a pillow.

Slowly I lifted my head up and was greeted to the sight of a shirted chest.

Not really suprising, but interesting. I've lost count of how many nights I've woken to this situation.

My eyes followed upwards and I felt my heart stop.

Rogers.

Okay, never before have I awoken to this situation.

What the hell was he doing here? Why were we in bed together? God don't tell me we- I looked down and thankfully my dress was in tact, and considering Rogers shirt was still on, I was left to assume (and hope) his pants were still on too.

He hadn't fully woken yet, but he was starting to stir. Quickly I tried to detract myself from his embrace, a feat easier said then done.

And of course I'd thrown a leg over his waist during the night, because it wasn't hard enough wiggling free as is, no Rogers had to have some kind of hold of my leg with his free arm.

Slowly I pushed myself up, and carefully tried to disentangle myself, when his eyes started to blink open.

Apparently he wasn't half as horrified by our sleeping arrangements as I was, because he calmly let go of me, and while I scrambled to get off him and out of bed as fast as possible, he chose to simply and lazily sit up while rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Good morning." His voice was raspy from sleep and he ran his hand through his bed hair.

"Morning." I replied with a frown. Why was he not concerned with this situation. I almost felt cheated by his lack of response.

"How's your head?" He asked, and with that reminder, the nausea came back.

"Arrrrrrgh." I let out another groan. "Don't remind me."

"I left the aspirin on the bedside, did you take it?" Rogers answered before frowning when he saw it sitting there untouched.

"Oh thank god." I spoke making a grab for it, and downing it as fast as I could. I sat back on the edge of the bed resting my hands in my head, waiting for the pills to kick in.

"So how long are we going to keep pretending that you being here isn't weird?" I asked finally lifting my head to look at him.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean what do I mean? I mean why are you here?" I was too sore to think through whether that made sense or not, hopefully Rogers got the point.

He gave me a funny look before explaining, "You asked me to stay with you."

"I did not." My voice was adamant even if my memory wasn't.

"Yes you did." He continued to look at me like I was the crazy one. I was not the crazy one. "And I was hardly in a position to leave you while you were crying."

"Okay now I know you're full of shit." I narrowed my eyes. "I. Don't. Cry."

"It's what happened." Steve frowned, "And it's nothing to be embarrassed about, everybody cries."

"Okay Rogers, you've had your joke. Stop it now." I told him.

"I don't understand why it's a big deal, you were drunk, everyone gets emotional when they're drunk, no big deal."

"It's a big deal because it didn't happen."

"But it did hap-"

"-Why are you lying?" My voice was starting to rise and my hands were starting to ball.

If I was crying, it was because of one thing, the one thing I would never talk to anyone about but especially not Captain America.

Rogers who was so adored and worshiped by our country, he would never understand.

No he had to be lying.

"I'm not." He shook his head, his face showing concern from my reaction.

"You know what? I am too hung over for this." I waved my hands to indicate whatever this was. "I'm having a shower and when I get out, you better be gone."

"Toni-"Whatever Rogers had to say was cut off from the slam of by bathroom door. I turned the hose on and started getting undressed while the water heated.

Looking at myself in the mirror I was horrified to notice my make up, makeup that suggested only two things. One, it was raining down last night, enough to land on my face, but not enough to ruin my hair (yes it was it was a very plausible answer in my denial filled brain) or two, and probably the far more logical answer, those were tear streaked marks running down my cheeks.

Choosing not to think about it for the time being, I got in the shower and let the water wash away the baggage from last night.

I took my sweet, sweet time under the water, mainly because I wanted to give Rogers enough time to make himself scarce but also because I felt like shit.

By the time I was done and had exited the bathroom, Rogers was no where to be seen. Thank god. I opened my draws grabbing out a Tee and some jeans when I noticed a note left on my bed.

I apologise if I upset you further, it was not my intention.

I balled up the letter in my fist.

It was decided. Whatever I did or said last night, was going in the 'didn't happen' pile of my life, it could slot right in next to The Bad Hair Cut Of '89 and the But How Hot Is It Really? fiasco.

Problem solved.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay so the problem wasn't 'solved' as easily as I thought it would be, mainly because Rogers was incapable of leaving it damn well alone.

Honestly, he was like a dog with a bone, he just wouldn't let it go. He was also impossible to reason with.

Rogers had showed up later that same day with food from burger king. Had it been anyone else, I would have let out tears of gratitude. Maybe written sonnets in their name and sung out songs to forever commemorate the day they saved my life. Greasy food and hangovers were just meant to be. However as it was Rogers, my need to rejoice was vastly diminished by my need to not be indebted to him.

I'm not sure why it was so important for me not to receive his help, I mean it's not like I had never accepted anyone's help before.

Natashas bandaged me up more times then I could count after damage from faulty equipment, she even stayed with me in hospital for a week after we miscalculated the blast range of our new grenade launcher. Clint was always happy to have my back when some guy got it in their head that we were much more serious then we actually were -and show them the door as needed. And Banner, well he was here every other weekend giving me assistance and not just with our work projects.

And I let them, because it didn't faze me what they thought of me. I don't know why it meant so much more with Rogers.

"What are you doing here?" I asked narrowing my eyes.

And more importantly, how had he gotten in. I was going to give Jarvis a real talking to once he was gone. All I wanted was a little loyalty from the machine I invented, was that too much to ask?

"I thought you'd need something to eat." He held up the bag and moved slowly forward like I was some savage animal about to bite him. In all fairness, with how awful I felt, I probably looked closer to animal then human too.

"And I thought I told you to leave." I continued to glare.

"I will." He nodded his head, his eyes earnest. "I just wanted to make sure you ate."

There was something about the way he said that, something about the look in his eyes and gentleness in his voice that warmed my insides. Insides he had no business warming.

I didn't say anything.

"Will you eat it?" He asked as he put it on my kitchen counter. He stared at me, waiting for a response.

I hesitated for a moment before I nodded. "Only if you leave."

"Deal." He he let out a grin. I narrowed my eyes thinking that was way to easy but he left the bag on the counter and surprisingly enough did as requested.

I was sure he was going to rehash what we discussed this morning, the fact that he didn't released the tension in my shoulders I didn't realise was there.

I should have known it was too easy.

* * *

"Bruce could you bring me the jump leads." I called as footsteps approached. I was under one of my suits, fiddling with the battery in an attempt to better conserve it's energy levels. "And you call that five minutes? Is the concept of time completely lost on you?"

He left for 'five' to grab us a bite, and I was still here, half an hour later, starving.

I wasn't a consistent eater and I usually worked through worse but my indignation was on principle.

"I'd say I have a pretty good understanding of it." Rogers voice spoke, I slid out from under the suit and he was standing there, holding the leads ready for me to grab.

"Rogers." The smile that played on my lips was so fake it felt more like a baring of teeth then anything else. "I see you managed to get in okay. Thanks Jarvis." I looked at the ceiling promising retribution at the betrayel. Jarvis didn't necessarily have a corporal form, but I liked to glare around the room as if he did.

"Took a bit of convincing, but Jarvis is a softie."

 _You've got that right._

"At the risk of sounding like a broken record, what are you doing here?" I finally sighed taking the cable and sliding back under my suit.

Third time in two days in my house, he must have been setting some kind of record for himself.

"Thought we could talk about yesterday." He replied and I managed to move my head just in time because I'd lost the grip on one of the leads which gravity now had flying at my face.

Great Toni, why don't you whack your head into the suit on the way out. I don't think he noticed how much of a klutz you were the first time round. Bringing my body back under control, I managed to attach the cable properly before sliding back out. I sat up wiping my hands on the grease rag.

"Rogers, we're not talking about it."

"I think we should."

"No."

"It's healthy to talk about it. Besides there was some stuff you said that wasn't-"

"Rogers!" I snapped and he finally stopped to look at me properly. He didn't look happy about the interruption but he stood quiet nonetheless. "I don't want to talk about it. I can't talk about it. And anything I did talk about that night, I don't want to hear it. I was drunk and it's not fair you took advantage of that and it's not fair that you're _still_ taking advantage of that."

"I'm not trying to take advantage of anything."

"But that's what you're doing, and Rogers -just so you know- you are seriously about to go too far."

"I don't understand."

"All you need to understand is that there is a line, anything that was discussed when I was drunk is over it."

"But-"

"And if you want me in your life at all, don't think about crossing it."

"Toni-"

"Because I will walk away Rogers, and I won't look back."

I knew something registered with that statement because I saw concern flash in his eyes before he managed to school his features into something more passive. Finally he smiled, it didn't seem completely genuine but the effort was there.

"Okay, we won't discuss it. We'll pretend as if it never happened. Is that what you want?"

"That's what I want."

* * *

Whether it solved our problems, I wasn't sure but after that conversation the dynamics in our relationship had definitely changed.

Maybe the drunk talk was a good thing because even though I hated him knowing how vulnerable I was to the public, it was also a relief knowing I didn't have to constantly have my guard up when he was around. Something I always felt the need to do before, and something that, though it wasn't his fault, I always blamed him for.

Would I say we were best friends? Probably not. But we were becoming _something_ because his attitude towards me changed, or maybe it was vice versa. Suddenly I didn't find him half as judgmental as I always did and because of that, my need to prove myself decreased.

Like when I used to get injured for example.

If he made any comment on the issue, I would consider it (and rightfully so) a personal slight against me, now I realised all he did was show concern.

He just showed it more then anyone else.

The revelation came when we were fighting a battle in Los Angeles.

Not a big one, and not one I would lose sleep over, but still disastardly enough to keep us on our feet.

"No, no don't mind me, I'm fine." Clint spoke as he collected fallen arrows from the ground. He'd been walking about having a little sulk since the battle ended.

"A little cover from my friends would've been nice but hey, no biggie." He continued. "I only saw my life flash before my eyes is all."

I looked at Natasha and we both shook our heads. He could be the biggest drama queen when he wanted to. A bullet had nearly clipped him when he was moving out from behind a car, I was meant to be watching his back but I'd been distracted by my own chaotic mess. Yes I felt bad but let me reiterate. A bullet _nearly_ clipped him.

"And where was your cover when Toni was being thrown through the glass wall of the complex hmm?" Natasha defended.

Thor let out a bark of laughter at the reminder, "It was like watching a tiny insect get swatted out of the sky."

 _Tell me why we were happy to get him back again?_

I glared at Thor before continuing with, "Yeah Clint in case you didn't notice, I'm bleeding here."

I'd taken off the iron suit briefly and used it to transport a kid from point A to B while I was busy messing around with the electronics in the building, however as it came back to reattach itself to me, I'd been blasted through a window, leaving a glass shard protruding from my side. I was just going to yank it out, cause it hurt like a bitch every time I breathed, but Banner (being the worry wart he is) had nearly thrown a fit when I made the suggestion.

So I ceded, the last thing I wanted was to get on Bruces green side.

And by the way, guess who was meant to be covering my back at the time?

Why Mr. Grumpy-pants Barton of course.

"Oh I get it." Clint nodded his head. "It was payback was it?"

I rolled my eyes.

Honestly. They said that I was the immature one of the group, I'm pretty sure Barton could give me a run for my money.

"I don't know why I bother being friends with you." Clint glared.

"I'm so sorry Clint that you _nearly_ got shot." I gave in. "But you know I love you right?" I shot him a grin.

Clints face remained unmoved and I stayed grinning until I finally saw his eyes soften and he let out a laugh, "Yeah, yeah, okay I love you too. I 'm over it. I'm over it."

"Alright guys." Rogers broke in, clapping his hands together. "I just got the all clear from Fury, we're good to go."

Two vehicles were starting to pull up. The group was getting into one and heading back to headquarters to debrief while I was taking the other to SHILEDS medical centre.

"Save me some cake." I told Natasha as she was getting into the car, Clint and Thor were already inside and I started heading over to the other car.

"When have I never?" Natasha called back, her eyebrow raising.

I poked my tongue out before responding, "Never."

I was hopping into the car trying not to wince when Rogers approached.

"I'm coming with." He spoke getting in beside me.

"What?" I drew my head back "Why?" I managed to splutter out.

"Because you're injured. I want to make sure you get there okay."

"It's just a scratch (in the loosest definition of the word) I'll be fine."

"That might be so, but please Toni for my peace of mind, let me come. And before you say anything, no it's not because you're a girl. I've sat with Bruce, I've sat with Clint, hell I sat with Thor when he broke his _pinky_. You're all my team, I just like to know everyone is in safe hands."

"You've never come with me before. Why now?"

"I had a friend who had that injury seventy years earlier, medicine wasn't like it is today and I watched as he bled out. His life ended at twenty-two. I don't want the same happening to you. I knew you'd never let me before, so I never bothered asking, but this time I need to come."

"I'm sorry to hear that happened." My voice was soft but I continued with, "But like you said, medicines changed, people don't die from this."

"And you're probably right. But I have to see it with my own eyes."

He was waiting for my answer, his hand on the door handle, ready to open it as if he knew I was going to refuse. I didn't like that he thought he knew me well enough to make that assumption. I did have a heart, even if I liked to pretend I didn't.

"Fine you can come." I ground out. "But only because you look so utterly pathetic. I don't want anyone else catching you with that expression, could ruin your image." I added on.

I saw relief wash overs Rogers face. Clearly he didn't care about the insult/ my reasonings why, only the result and the thought of that made me feel a little happy inside.

That was when I realised that I misjudged him a little (maybe a lot) and that he actually did care about me and not because I was a girl that didn't belong, but more because I was a part of his team.


End file.
